The Onion or Reality: Today’s Quiz
Which is more ridiculous? Hard to tell.
Praising the vehicle’s 25 years of experience, its proven dependability, and its 2.2-liter internal combustion engine, Chrysler announced Monday that it has appointed a 1983 four-door LeBaron sedan as the company’s new CEO. “We believe that the LeBaron’s expertise in dealing with customers, combined with its 100.3-inch wheelbase, makes it the right automobile for the job,” Chrysler CFO Ron Kolka said. The Chrysler Town and Country, passed over for the position for the second time in four years, will return to its post as the company’s regional finance manager. When asked how Chrysler plans to shift toward more energy-efficient models in order to compete in a changing marketplace, the LeBaron honked its horn for 35 seconds.
The Big Three Detroit automakers have begun lobbying Congress for up to $50 billion in loans that would help them adjust to a market that demands more fuel-efficient vehicles. But the automakers insist the loans would not amount to a government bailout of the struggling auto industry.