American Pie 2.2, or, The Lament of a Self-Made Misesian
A long long time ago
I can still remember
How those data used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make regressions dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while
But mainstream methods made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I’d lost the balance of my pep
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day that Mises died
(Refrain)
So, bye-bye Old Austrian Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die
Did you write a note on Human Action
And can you still get praxeological traction
If Hans Hoppe tells you to
And do you believe in the Action Axiom
Have you maintained it sans retraction
In pure deductions anyone can view
Well I know that you’re in love with Menger
‘Cause I see that you treat him like a rock-star singer
You say you like his utility
But you only dig it marginally
I was a lonely teenage freedom freak
With a pink carnation and a logical streak
But I knew I was up a creek
The day that Mises died
I started singin’
(Refrain)
Now for forty years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone
But that’s not how it used to be
When Hayek sang for the King and Court
But his song was not the neoclassical sort
Though he climbed partway up on Popper’s tree
Oh, but while sweet Lou was looking down
Fritz Hayek stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Rothbard read Higgs’ book on a lark
Hermeneuticians practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day that Mises died
We we’re singin’
(Refrain)
Helter skelter in a summer swelter
Keynes’ ghost flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for an RBC pass
With Samuelson on the sidelines in a cast
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While Lucas and Sargent played a rational tune
We all got up to dance
Oh but we never got the chance
‘Cause the real world tried to take the field
The RE theorists refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that Mises died
We started singin’
(Refrain)
Oh, and there we were, all in one place
A bunch of old economists lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Krug be nimble, Krug be quick
Krugman sat on a candlestick
‘Cause fire is the devil’s only friend
Oh, as I read him on the op-ed page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Satan’s spell
And as the flames of private wealth lit the night
Bernanke performed the sacrificial rite
I saw Wall Street laughing with delight
The day that Mises died
I was singing
(Refrain)
I was a man who sang the blues
Best known for pessimistic views
Then I just smiled and said adieu
I paid a visit to GMU
Where they said mere Mises would not do
And went to war upon the Auburn crew
And in the streets the students screamed
Professors sobbed and think thanks dreamed
And though many a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men in the midst of this flurry
Ludwig, Fritz, and my old friend Murray
They seemed to be in no great hurry
The day that Mises died
And they were singin’
(Refrain)
Bye-bye Old Austrian Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die
(With apologies to Don McLean. For version 2.1, go here.)
