The Onion Understands Antitrust

An oldie but goodie from the Onion, which every day becomes harder to distinguish from, say, the Washington Post. I owe Josh Wright the reminder. A nice complement to R. W. Grant’s Tom Smith and His Incredible Bread Machine, with its classic stanzas:

Now let me state the present rules,”
The lawyer then went on,
“These very simple guidelines,
You can rely upon:
You’re gouging on your prices if
You charge more than the rest.
But it’s unfair competition if
You think you can charge less!
“A second point that we would make
To help avoid confusion…
Don’t try to charge the same amount,
That would be Collusion!
You must compete. But not too much,
For if you do you see,
Then the market would be yours –
And that’s Monopoly!