A Presidents’ Day Prayer

Great Leader, who art in Washington,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy empire come,

thy will be done,

on earth as it is in the Oval Office.

Give us this day our daily dole.

And forgive us our late tax filings,

as we forgive the IRS for refunding our overpayments without interest.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the DEA.

For thine is the federal prison system, the FBI, the military, the CIA, the regulatory agencies, the Surveillance State, and all the rest of the tyrannical apparatus under which we groan, not to mention

the power and the glory,

for ever and ever (unless justice is done sooner).

Amen.