Onion News Network Satirizes the Bailouts
By David J. Theroux • Sunday November 16, 2008 1:24 PM PDT • 5 Comments
The Onion News Network has recently and incisively parodied the utter foolishness of the escalating campaigns for monstrous, federal government bailouts.
In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
For the authoritative examination of how federal policies are responsible for directly creating the financial crisis, see the recent Independent Policy Report by Research Fellow Stan J. Liebowitz, Anatomy of a Train Wreck: Causes of the Mortgage Meltdown. The bailouts, which have been supported by Bush, Obama, Pelosi, and McCain, will only make matters far worse.
Tags: Charity, Civil Liberties, Criminal Justice, Energy, Georgia, Housing, Personal Liberty, Politics, Religion, Uncategorized 
Recovery Plan That Will Work
This plan would solve our biggest problem, and do it in a time frame no one dares to hope for. Please read the entire plan and then debate it, unlike the BAIL-OUT this will work and will be no need to keep pouring more money in.
1) Send every LEGAL citizen over 18 years old and making less than 200,000 dollars a check for 100,000 to 150,000 dollars. (This would be less than ½ the cost of BAIL-OUT.)
2) Raise the min.wage to $10.00 an hour.
3) Stop unemployment benefits for 18 months
4) Stop all welfare and food stamps for 18 months at which time new applications would be required.
5) Require ALL government purchases be made in U.S.A if available, if not manufactured here give interest free loan or even a start up grant to whoever wants to make it here
6) Social Security taxes paid on all income
7) No taxes on Social Security Benefits
Summary
The first item, money going in to the hands of consumers. To quote the Republicans “you can spend your money better than Government.” Trickle down never works it in up in someone’s pocket before it reach the consumers. Unlike the Republicans that say small business is back bone of our economy we know the consumers are. This money would be spent to pay mortgages, buy cars, go out to eat, invest, etc., it would spur on our economy like never before. Small businesses would flourish.
Next raise min. wages more taxes being paid in helps keep economy going.
Unemployment benefits not needed everyone that needs them has just received a check. This would allow funds to build up and be in good shape when they are again needed.
Welfare, same thing every one just got checks, everyone that just needs a helping hand will be able to get off welfare so when it starts up less than ½ will reapply. Jobs will be plentiful Some will blow the chance and end up back on welfare but the funds will have time to build up so they are healthy when needed. Everyone will be tax payers for awhile.
We have been spending like no tomorrow on war, and yet no war time premium because we’ve exported it. Economy should be doing great but we buy every thing from someone else…..DUH! This is also a national security matter. We depend on someone else for our Defense, we could not put our armies in the field if Japan, China, and a few others stopped selling to us and we could not tool up fast enough. If just what we spent on Defense was kept here the economy would rocket.
Social Security taxes, the middle class pays taxes into system every dollar we make why shouldn’t everyone else?
Taxing Social Security benefits, talk about double taxation, we pay on every dollar we earn and then we’re taxed on the benefit how is that fair?
If all of these items were intermented [sic], repealing the BUSH TAX BREAKS would not be an issue. All this would push the money up the economy food chain and as all ways the one at the top will get theirs, but so would the rest of us. This is sharing in the wealth, not redistributing it.
Please give this some thought, I’m no economist but this is a kitchen table solution. I challenge anyone to explain how this would not work.
Randy Casteel | Nov 17, 2008 | Reply
Raise the minimum wage to $100.00 per hour. :)
rex | Nov 18, 2008 | Reply
I got a better plan for the Health care crisis, Just bail out the Health Insurance companies!
mary | Nov 18, 2008 | Reply
Just Abolish the Federal Reserve act. And the IRS. When Congress and the Senate are unable to print all the money they want and back it with nothing. They will have to be bound by the constitutional Restraints–money backed by Gold and Silver in our reserves. Then they will have to live on a budget like the rest of Americans.
They all know this is a fraud but go along because it gives them unlimited power to give money away to get elected time after time.
The Federal Reserve is not Federal–It is private bankers–they just bailed themselves out with our taxes.
Dino | Nov 22, 2008 | Reply
The Insurance is the problem–Not the cure. When they just pay without competition the sky is the limit. If nobody had insurance the cost for health care would fall faster than fuel prices in a energy Crises :-) Or has anybody been paying attention? The insurance companies just raise their premiums on the people buying insurance and the cost gets higher. I mean –What happened??? If there was a shortage of crude–why is prices falling. Could it be wall street tells OPEC what they charge us instead of the other way around.
Since we have abundance of oil right here in the USA without drilling one more well.
Dino | Nov 28, 2008 | Reply